Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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