I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
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