What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Randomize
