piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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