So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Randomize
