She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
Come see our sink grown plant.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
