I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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