I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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