we have officially lost it.
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
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Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
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Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
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