we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
Randomize
