We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
