dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
