I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Randomize
