you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
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