Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Randomize