hotel room ftw
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize
