At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
only you would photoshop your dick
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Randomize
