can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
These 23 People Had The Most Insane Spring Breaks Ever
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
25 Women On How They Let Their Oblivious Partners Know They Want To Bone
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar