Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
