whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
23 Adults Confess The Irrational Fears They Had When They Were Kids
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
These 25 Women First Experienced Sexual Harassment At A Shocking Age
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."