Texts From Last Night

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  (714): View more from California

  First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?

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  (714): First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance? http://tfl.nu/zhuo
  Replies (3) Good night (703) Bad night (2177)
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  (636): View more from Missouri

  we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"

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  (636): we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle" http://tfl.nu/m65a
  Replies (17) Good night (7291) Bad night (1025)
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  (615): View more from Tennessee

  I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"

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  (615): I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program" http://tfl.nu/jmw5
  Replies (9) Good night (1810) Bad night (3840)
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  (913): View more from Kansas

  I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.

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  (913): I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM. http://tfl.nu/ou48
  Replies (33) Good night (1695) Bad night (5204)
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  (518): View more from New York

  She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her

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  (518): She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her http://tfl.nu/ofex
  Replies (65) Good night (14045) Bad night (2922)
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  (219): View more from Indiana

  surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on

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  (219): surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on http://tfl.nu/a8g3
  Replies (9) Good night (3347) Bad night (1151)
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  (504): View more from Louisiana

  Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie

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  (504): Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie http://tfl.nu/6e1s
  Replies (13) Good night (4590) Bad night (1257)
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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street

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  (724): the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street http://tfl.nu/sbee
  Replies (13) Good night (4673) Bad night (1624)
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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN

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  (978): Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN http://tfl.nu/dg4w
  Replies (5) Good night (2528) Bad night (657)
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  (606): View more from Kentucky

  If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.

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  (606): If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now. http://tfl.nu/nnuj
  Replies (3) Good night (1995) Bad night (847)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.

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  (503): You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before. http://tfl.nu/c801
  Replies (13) Good night (1149) Bad night (656)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?

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  (503): Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test? http://tfl.nu/05zv
  Replies (9) Good night (349) Bad night (1005)
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  (604): View more from British Columbia

  I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it

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  (604): I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it http://tfl.nu/ucqf
  Replies (1) Good night (746) Bad night (349)
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  (304): View more from West Virginia

  just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.

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  (304): just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America. http://tfl.nu/tnm4
  Replies (3) Good night (760) Bad night (331)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going

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  (+44): I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going http://tfl.nu/bpru
  Replies (5) Good night (664) Bad night (212)

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