Texts From Last Night

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  (310): View more from California

  my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook

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  (310): my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook http://tfl.nu/wl7n
  Replies (34) Good night (1094) Bad night (5165)
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.

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  (508): So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs. http://tfl.nu/eq7w
  Replies (40) Good night (3894) Bad night (821)
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  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.

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  (608): You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied. http://tfl.nu/sqjw
  Replies (10) Good night (4275) Bad night (666)
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  (307): View more from Wyoming

  I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..

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  (307): I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie.. http://tfl.nu/boas
  Replies (15) Good night (5152) Bad night (581)
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.

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  (908): Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time. http://tfl.nu/kf31
  Replies (11) Good night (915) Bad night (4371)
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  (772): View more from Florida

  The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.

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  (772): The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again. http://tfl.nu/7v1u
  Replies (28) Good night (668) Bad night (4895)
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  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.

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  (405): Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine. http://tfl.nu/l1h6
  Replies (25) Good night (6738) Bad night (1714)
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  (509): View more from Washington

  He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.

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  (509): He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother. http://tfl.nu/97xz
  Replies (20) Good night (6235) Bad night (1296)
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  (+62): View more from

  This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.

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  (+62): This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country. http://tfl.nu/rdix
  Replies (50) Good night (1540) Bad night (4376)
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  (407): View more from Florida

  and now there are teeth marks on my dick.

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  (407): and now there are teeth marks on my dick. http://tfl.nu/97y3
  Replies (17) Good night (1288) Bad night (5633)
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  (727): View more from Florida

  Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk

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  (727): Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk http://tfl.nu/ccms
  Replies (2) Good night (939) Bad night (1053)
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  (909): View more from California

  I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.

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  (909): I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird. http://tfl.nu/vyym
  Replies (9) Good night (1131) Bad night (487)
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  (256): View more from Alabama

  Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.

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  (256): Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you. http://tfl.nu/bzso
  Replies (11) Good night (3410) Bad night (715)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.

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  (703): Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life. http://tfl.nu/38t1
  Replies (4) Good night (858) Bad night (407)
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.

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  (513): I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual. http://tfl.nu/6x4d
  Replies (3) Good night (726) Bad night (234)

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