very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
we're so committed to being not committed
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
