Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Randomize
