I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
