remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
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