i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
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