I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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