Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Randomize
