If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
Redeem this text for a blowjob
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
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