I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Randomize
