I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
organizing the empties. That sober.
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So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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