I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
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