Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize