theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
