woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
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We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
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I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
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