White coat. Heels.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
I'm just crazy horny about you
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize
