my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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