AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Randomize
