apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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