I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
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