He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Randomize
