The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
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