do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Randomize
