Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
Randomize
