Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Randomize
