we should wear snuggies to the strip club
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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