it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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