Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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