Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
