She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
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The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
I have post one night stand depression
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