when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Drake has all the answers
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
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