Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
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