So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
