who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Randomize
