omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
