Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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