He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
Randomize