There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
