yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize