Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Randomize
