i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
