Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Randomize
