this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
