I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Randomize
