you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Randomize
